Contents
Introduction – 5 Ways to Let Go and Stay Present
If you’re dwelling in the past yet afraid to move forward into the unknown future, here are 5 tips to help you stay grounded and live in the present moment.
No matter the struggles that each of us face, we all fight our own battles differently. However, we all feel the pain from these situations, and that pain can often hold us back. We find ourselves in a purgatory of sorts, not wanting to move on yet not wanting to be left behind.
We wander aimlessly between that past and the future, yet we’re never fully present. We can’t be, until we deal with those past pains and the fears of what lies ahead. Ultimately, the pain prevents us from taking that critical step forward to live our lives. When emotional pain won’t let you heal, you’re not growing.1 Hence, we must learn to focus on the lessons from the past to gain forward momentum.
If you’re struggling to let go of what should have been and worry about all the what ifs that lie ahead, these 5 tips will help you finally let go and live intently and contentedly in the present.
Learn to forgive yourself
Do you lie awake at night blaming yourself for something, feeling regret over a choice you made or a chance you didn’t take? Whatever it is that’s causing you to toss and turn, it’s already out there. Perhaps you said something that hurt someone close to you. Or maybe you fell for yet another line. If you have any control over the situation, is there anything you can do? If it is out of your hands, it’s time to give it up and let the chips fall where they may.
You have to stop beating yourself up for your mistakes. For missing chances you didn’t take. For whatever you blame yourself for, whatever has brought you shame and embarrassment, imagine it as a balloon tethered to a string in your hand and let it float away. You are not the only person in the world that ever made a mistake. It won’t be your last mistake either, so love yourself a bit more and learn from the situation.
Take one day at a time
Now, let’s look ahead. Much of anxiety is rooted in worry over the future.2 While you can plan and prepare for future events, there’s really only so much you can do. Those in coastal areas must brace for hurricanes. Does worrying about it coming to your area make the storms go away? Not at all. As such, all you can do is be prepared and let it all fall into place.
That’s what you must do with the past too. You’ve done everything you can, and you have to tell yourself that to keep on moving. Tune out that voice, the one that chimes in with the “but what ifs.” Give yourself a free license to just let go. Worrying isn’t going to change a thing, so when you catch yourself in that cycle, remind yourself that you can worry when something happens.
Put activities you love in your life
We’ve focused on the past and the future. It’s time to turn our attention to the present. How do you halt that ceaseless banter in your brain that threatens to drag you back to the past or keeps you worrying about what may never happen? If you have all this time on your hands to worry so much, then it stands to reason that you need something to occupy your time.
Work doesn’t count. Choose activities that spark your interest and ignite your passion. You can sign up for a class or engage in a new hobby. Wondering how that’s possible? Just remember that you’re the only one standing in your way for living your best life. Read that again!
Harmonize your mind and body through meditation
Meditation is a powerful tool for driving your roots firmly into the present and relieving your stress.3 It takes some practice, and there are many ways to do it too. All you need to do is find the way that feels most comfortable for you. Some people sit on a mat while others lay down. Some put on music while others find a quiet space.
However you meditate, you should make it a daily practice. Start with just five minutes per day and then you can gradually increase the length of each session. In time, you will find you stop worrying about things you can’t control and start to really feel alive and happy in the present.
Shift your focus
All this bouncing in between the past and the future makes us lose sight of what’s most important. That’s why you’ll need to start shifting your focus away from the negativity in an intentional way. The sooner you realize that you can’t always control those external conditions all the time, you’ll stop fighting it. And the sooner that happens, you’ll end your stress, suffering, and anxiety.
A great way to do this is to take to your gratitude journal and focus on the good. When you’re out in the world though, practice shifting the way you think. Instead of getting agitated that you’ve been waiting in line for a while, take time to appreciate the moment. Look around you and you may just see a butterfly or a happy tail-wagging dog.
Don’t let life pass you by while you stand still! Take that first step by changing your mind, and then with the past, present, and future, you’ll change your life.
References
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16300724
- https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/anticipatory-anxiety#:~:text=Anticipatory%20anxiety%2C%20or%20excessive%20worry,person’s%20everyday%20life%20and%20functioning.
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4895748/
Featured Image Credit: Oleksandr Pidvalnyi (Pexels)
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