The good news with your self talk is that you can change your self talk any time for more peace, happiness and positive energy . Here are some tips:
1. Watch your self talk (what you say to yourself). Reflect on what makes you feel good about yourself
Become aware of how your inner voice communicates to you. Realize your patterns. Becoming aware of the extent of negativity in your head and how it is causing anxiety, stress, low self esteem and confidence is the first key step towards change. You may actually journal whenever you make a negative comment and analyze it later to identify your patterns.Write down what negative statement you made about yourself and how many times you repeated it. Now write down something positive about yourself or what you did which makes you feel good about yourself
2. Change negative self talk messages to positive messages
Whenever any negative message starts showing up in your mind or consciousness, replace it with a positive message, affirming your self worth and expressing love for yourself. For example you could change: ‘you are so irresponsible’ to ‘you can handle any kind of challenges and circumstances in life effectively. Affirm “I am smart”, “I am intelligent”. “I am creative” “I am worth loving.” Affirm “I am healthy, whole and deserving”. Feel all the love inside your soul and let it heal you.
3. Instead of believing why you cannot do something, ask yourself how you can accomplish
Whenever you exhibit negative self talk for example when you say to yourself “oh I can’t do this. This is so tough or beyond my reach”, instead of these limiting beliefs about yourself, believe you have unlimited potential. Ask yourself “ How can I achieve this? What is the first little step I can take? Who can help me get there?”
4. Always remember you have a choice
Always remember you have a choice of blaming yourself and others or take responsibility and take action to bring positive change. Realize that blaming and judging will not do any good to you
5. Pat on your back for being amazing when you try something new. Don’t belittle yourself
Many of us set very high standards for ourselves when we try something new and when we don’t meet our those unrealistic standards, then we are very harsh to ourselves. “Oh! You were so stupid” or “how could you even think you could do that”. Complement yourself for taking the first step towards something new. There may be things you could do better, which you can certainly take care of in the next attempt. Appreciate yourself and think highly of what you’ve accomplished. Focus on the fact that you were open to something new and actually gave a performance. Showing up in itself is a big achievement. With more experience, you will certainly improve.
6. Be a silent watcher of your feelings
When something goes wrong or there is some loss and you have a negative feeling or thought, don’t give a conditioned negative reaction blaming yourself or others. Make it a habit to observe your thoughts and feelings. Don’t try to force or find a solution as an instant reaction by over analyzing your thoughts and emotions. Instead, accept how you feel and later when you have a clear head, you can think of a solution or response with much more clarity. Mindfulness can certainly help in nurturing this habit.
7. Begin your day with positivity (positive affirmations / self talk)
When you wake up in the morning, be grateful for everything you have. Affirm everything is ok and you will enjoy and make the rest of your day. There is divine guidance and love available to you. The moment you open your heart to it, you will start receiving it. Welcome your day with gratitude, meditation or prayers or being in close touch with nature.
8. If your partner or parent does not show love and affection, don’t blame yourself
If you are in a relationship and your partner or parent does not show adequate love and affection or if you are in a dysfunctional family and one or both of your parents don’t love you as you think they should, don’t keep sabotaging yourself thinking “something is wrong with me”, ‘I am unlovable” “I am not good enough to be loved”. This will not lead you anywhere. Instead, accept yourself fully lovingly and choose to heal yourself.
Photo credit: Hudson Hintze (Unsplash)
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