Childbirth is one of the most defining life moments. Giving birth changes life and teaches some valuable life lessons. Here is my biggest takeaway from my experience.
My fear of birth hit me within minutes of seeing the lines on my pregnancy test. My mom, friends and society had me believe that birth was the worst and most painful thing I would ever do. I did a lot of healing and a lot of fear-clearing for my first birth and you know what, I was so proud of myself when I held my daughter in my hands. I said “I did it! I did it!” and little did I know, my motivation wasn’t fully authentic. My motivation was to prove to myself that I could conquer birth. I see that now my motivation was a challenge to myself and if I had not succeeded in my challenge, I am sure postpartum depression would have been knocking on my door. I would have been devastated and I know with every cell in my body that I would have been devastated if I had to get an epidural or if I had to have a belly birth. Looking back, well, for one I am very thankful that I was able to have that unmedicated birth for my mental health, but I feel so compassionate for my younger self. The fact that I felt the need to prove to myself that I was going to be a good mother if I had the “right” birth. I had to prove to myself that I was strong enough and that I did not need help from anyone else or anything else. I could do it on my own. And that breaks my heart. My motivation was from a place of unworthiness. A place of not valuing myself to believe that no matter what the outcome of my birth happened to be, I was a good mom. There would be no reason to look down upon myself if I set out for a goal and I did not accomplish it. I should not feel less worthy of a person because I failed.
Big AHA Moment…
You know what, until I am writing this at this very moment, I did not know that was one of my lessons. That just flew out of me. It is hard to get to core lessons until you are open to learning them. Apparently, I am finally ready to learn this lesson. How do I know? Because I asked for clarity when writing this piece and planned a very different outline, but this lesson came pouring out through tears.
Open Mindset Is Key during Childbirth
“Having a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing seems to me to be one of the most basic principles that you can adopt to contribute to individual and world peace.”
― Wayne Dyer
No matter what the intention and no matter what you want, you have to be open to changing your plan. You must be flexible because your baby is part of the equation and things outside of your realm of comprehension are also leading these lessons you or your baby may need to learn. Maybe the universe needs to send you a birth that causes you to question what is truly important in life. Bottom line is that you have no idea what your lesson needs to be. You just have to listen to your heart and know that your worthiness is not dependent on the outcome. Then, in a space free of self-judgement, the answer to your lesson will reveal itself. You are strong, powerful, and valued no matter what happens during your birth. You do not need to question your self-worth, your value, your ability to be a mother or your ability to show up for yourself based on your birth outcome. You already are all those things, regardless of what happens.
Only you can diminish your value. I hope these words of reflection inspire you to approach birth with an open heart.
“You are free, you are powerful, you are good, you are love, you have value, you have a purpose. All is well.”
― Abraham Hicks
Featured Image Credit: Tim Bish (Unsplash)
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