Self-talk is what you say to yourself in your head. We talk to ourselves regularly. Being aware of your self talk is important because it is a big source of negativity within us. We do not just receive negativity from what others say, but also from our own words. Quite often we say to ourselves, “ Oh, I look ugly. I’m getting old, I’m losing my hair.”
What determines your self talk?
Messages that you received from parents and teachers during your childhood impacted your thinking very deeply not just at the time when you hear those messages, but it impacts your thinking and how you feel even now. These messages are deeply rooted in your psychology and impact what you say to yourself all the time. The interesting thing is that many people may be aware of their self talk to some extent but don’t have the slightest clue how what others said or did long back impacts what they say to themselves and how they say it even today. What others say to you today or said to you in the past, impact your self talk.
Why is it important to change your self talk?
Here are a few reasons why you need to change your self talk in order to remove depression, anxiety or negativity from your life
1. Your self talk may be contributing to stress and anxiety
If your inner voice is generally negative and critical and you only see the negative side of things in life, you don’t see your circumstances and life situation rationally. you may perceive the world in terms of black and white and think extremely negative. You may hold yourself responsible and accountable for things and happenings which are completely out of your control. For example if your team lost a match, you would say “ that’s all because I could not score that goal. It’s all because of me”. You anticipate that things will for sure go wrong in the future. For example, you believe that your boss will not appreciate what you are doing. “My boss has never appreciated what I do, so even if I create the best presentation, he will not appreciate me.” We make assumptions about others behavior and assume they are frustrated or upset with us. All this negative perception, anticipating the worst, and holding yourself accountable for every little thing that may go wrong, adds a lot of stress and anxiety.
2. Your words are powerful. What you say to yourself determines your beliefs and ultimately your experience
Your words have great power. Pay attention to what you say to yourself. Our self talk determines our state of mind, which sets the stage for our thoughts and beliefs,which ultimately influence our actions and experiences. If you keep saying to yourself “I don’t deserve” on a regular basis, you will start believing that you are undeserving. If you regularly undervalue and underestimate ourselves, or blame and criticize yourself, your experiences will align with what you talk to yourself. If you appreciate yourself and express self love, then life will be wonderful and joyful. It is very important that we change the messages we give to ourselves so that all negativity that you experienced in the past can be cleared and you can live a joyful, peaceful life in the present. If you hear yourself using negative or limiting words, change them.
3. With self judgment and self criticism, you will never be able to love yourself
Many of us have a habit of criticizing ourselves or judging ourselves with our inner voice. When you criticize yourself or belittle yourself, you express your lack of self-worth. Till you change this habit, and replace all the negative thoughts and internal messages with positive ones, you will always be deprived of love and respect for yourself.
4. Positive messages to your subconscious lead to more self confidence and self esteem
Positive assertions are messages to your subconscious, which shape up your thinking, behavior patterns and your emotions. Positive affirmations and their repetition sow the seeds of positive thinking and positive emotions, leading to more self-confidence and self- esteem.
Photo credit: Matthew T Rader (Unsplash)
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